Sympathy vs Empathy: What's the Difference & Why it Matters

Navigating relationships is hard. But, as Maya Angelou so gently reminds us, "when you know better, you do better". Every small step you take to master emotions is a huge leap in fostering strong relationships.

Understanding the difference between sympathy and empathy isn't something they teach in school, so here we go.  Let's talk about the meaning of empathy and sympathy, the importance of compassion, and the impact of these emotions have in our daily lives.

1. Sympathy vs Empathy: What the heck is the difference?

A. Definition of Sympathy:

Sympathy is an emotional response to another person's distress or suffering, characterized by feelings of pity, sorrow, or concern. In essence, sympathy is acknowledging someone's pain and feeling sorry for their situation. For example, offering condolences when someone experiences a loss is an act of sympathy.

B. Definition of Empathy:

Empathy, on the other hand, goes beyond sympathy. It involves understanding and sharing another person's feelings, thoughts, and experiences. Empathy requires putting oneself in another person's shoes and genuinely connecting with their emotions. For instance, comforting a grieving friend by recalling a similar loss you've experienced demonstrates empathy.

Want to see empathy in action?  Here's the only tutorial you'll ever need.  Empathy 101.  I promise you won't want this 1:45 minutes back.

2. Empathy vs Sympathy: The Psychological Perspective

A. Empathy and Sympathy Meaning:

Empathy and sympathy are two different emotional responses. While sympathy is feeling sorry for someone's plight, empathy is a deeper connection that allows us to understand and share their emotions. Brene Brown, a renowned researcher and author of the brilliant Altas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience, emphasizes the importance of empathy in building connections, as it fosters a sense of belonging and understanding.

B. Sympathy and Empathy Difference:

The primary distinction between empathy and sympathy lies in the depth of emotional engagement. Empathy allows for a more profound connection, as it requires putting oneself in another person's position, while sympathy involves a more surface-level understanding. This difference is crucial to understand when dealing with personal relationships, professional settings, and even when practicing compassion.

This is a fantastic tutorial on Empathy vs. Sympathy by the queen of empathy herself:

3. The Role of Compassion: One Step Further

A. Compassion vs Empathy vs Sympathy:

Compassion is an emotional response that involves recognizing another's suffering and taking action to alleviate it. It incorporates elements of both empathy and sympathy, as it requires understanding another's emotions and feeling concern for their well-being. Compassion is a crucial aspect of emotional intelligence and the gold standard emotion in personal and professional relationships.

B. Compassion Sympathy Empathy in Practice:

Cultivating compassion involves practicing empathy and sympathy in daily life. For example, actively listening to a neighbor's concerns, offering emotional support to a friend, or volunteering at a crisis center are acts of compassion. Practicing compassion not only benefits others but also promotes personal growth and well-being. 

Author Dr.Kristin Neff takes it one step further and insists that self compassion is perhaps the most vital of all compassion.  She explains this in her gentle book, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.

4. Why Understanding the Differences Matter

A. Empathy vs Sympathy in Relationships:

Being aware of the difference between empathy and sympathy is good for communication and connection in personal relationships. Empathy fosters a deeper understanding of another person's emotions, while sympathy may sometimes come across as shallow or insincere. By practicing empathy, we can create stronger and more meaningful connections with others.

B. Empathy vs Sympathy in Professional Settings:

In the workplace, understanding the difference between empathy and sympathy is essential for effective leadership and teamwork. Empathetic leaders can better understand their team members' needs and concerns, leading to a more supportive and productive work environment. Empathy also promotes better collaboration and problem-solving among team members.

Understanding the differences between empathy, sympathy, and compassion is vital for building stronger connections, enhancing communication, and fostering emotional intelligence in our personal and professional lives. By practicing empathy and sympathy, we can have a positive impact on our relationships and create better understanding and support in the communities we live in.

Our hope is that as we learn more about empathy vs sympathy, sympathy vs empathy, and empathy sympathy compassion, it becomes more normalized to practice these skills in your daily life to nurture deeper connections and promote emotional well-being for yourself and those around you.